Penelope Cruz in A Bikini

Before jetting off to Rome for the premiere of Nine yesterday, Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem hit the beach in Brazil where they attempted to set a new world’s record in grab-assing. They’ll of course have to compete with the time I convinced Kim Kardashian I was the President of Reality TV and basically every single morning when Tom Cruise cages an extra in a meat locker until he Greco-Roman wrestles his way out. (R.I.P. Man Buying Newspaper in Jerry Maguire. I swear you’ll be avenged. — Eventually.)